Life & Laughter Chronicles

Written in 2023

Something engagement has taught me is this: Jesus is my bridegroom, and I get to see Him as my lover.

Not in a promiscuous way, as culture has distorted the word lover, but in a way that is deeply intimate, gentle, and kind.

Song of Songs says,
“His left hand is under my head, and His right hand embraces me.”

When I saw that picture, it fit perfectly.

Engagement is fun. It’s exciting. It’s full of anticipation. But it’s also hard—not in a bad way, but in a way that teaches you. You begin to learn more about the other person, the dynamics you’re stepping into, what you’ll face together in marriage, and how to become a team that fights the enemy side by side.

You learn that the one who brings you so much joy will also challenge you to grow in righteousness.
You learn that this person stands with you in the good and calls you higher in the hard.

All of it points me to Jesus.
All of it shows me what it means to be wrapped in His embrace.

In all the emotions that engagement brings, Jesus—my sweet lover—is there. He is tender with my heart, allowing me to cling to Him in this beautiful season.

Jesus has shown me that Him being my lover means He longs for me.
He sees me.
He’s ready to woo me.
He considers me.

He has become my lover by showing me, in such a sweet and personal way, what love truly is.

He’s given me a precious gift—my fiancé—who is absolutely amazing. And through him, Jesus daily reveals things about Himself that I never saw before.

Tonight, I found myself wrapped in anxiety and fear.
Because, truthfully, with my past, I struggle to accept the Lord’s goodness in my life.
It’s hard for me to believe that a desire like marriage—something I’ve deeply longed for—is something I actually get to have.

I catch myself waiting for the shoe to drop. But in those overwhelmed moments, I find my Lover—Jesus—placing His left hand under my head and His right hand around me. He embraces me tenderly and gently, drawing me closer, not only to sanctify and grow me, but to show me more of who He truly is.

I’m ready to be married.
But oh, how sweet is Jesus—who is all that I need, nothing that I deserve, and yet a gift I have.

A God who freely gives.
Who slows me down.
Who lets me see Him and know Him more.